Regret
by LOVEnHATEareboth4letterswords
Summary: Will you please stay with me until the final moments of my life? I know, its ending. Its slipping away from my weak, pale hands. I'm sorry. This regret I had. Was it worth it? I really wanted to say it to you. But please remember this my love. I love you. Till death do us apart. A story from Tsuna's point of view and a parallel of Slipping Away by Ran-Lei. A big gratitude to her.


**Regret**

Today is it. The final day of my life. I knew it. I can feel it. Mom didn't tell me. And it's the same as everyone else. So I decided to play strong. I can't let them see me in a weak condition when they themselves are being strong for me. I was reading the black book that mom gave me. Funny how I never bothered to read it before. Hearing the door sliding open, I gestured to you and smiles while closing down the book.

"A-ah, you're here, Hibari-san."

You nod in silence. I gestured for you to sit at the armchair but you went straight and put the flowers into the white vase, replacing the old ones. It was my favourite flower. A bucket of baby breath flowers. But they are dying. Just like me.

"I-I'm happy that you came, Hibari-san."

You sat and took my hand, placing it on your chest. I felt your rapid heartbeat. Are you anxious just like me Hibari-san? I saw your sad face. It hurts me to see you like this. I want to see your proud face while you were saying your famous catchphrase. I remember the first time you said it to me.

I heard rumours about you before I knew you. About a prefect who'll bite the students who break the rules to death. I was curious. How did you come out with a phrase like that? So, on that destined day, I was late. I saw bodies beside the school gate. You were standing there beside the bodies. You turned and glared at me. But no matters how much I beg, you just went straight to me. And 'bite me to death'. Just like those other students.

Oh, did I mention how I thought that your weapons look kinky?

You held my face oh so gently. Just like always. I won't be able to feel this anymore can I Hibari-san? Not anymore. My life is slipping away. Gone with our moments.

I want to be with you longer. I'll even trade in my soul for another day with to be with you if I could. But that's impossible right? All those times I spent with you were so precious. I remember it all so clearly. Do you Hibari-san?

How I wished I had confessed to you earlier under that cherry blossom tree. Then, I'll have more time with you. Oh, how I wished for it.

I was scared. But I knew that we had something. Call it my Intuition or something. Then, one day, I gathered all my courage and confessed to you. Will you like me too? I didn't dare to face you and kept my head down. Moments went by with silence, and so, I decided to run off. But you grabbed my hand and say that you like me too. Oh, how happy I was at that moment! We always manage to exchange those words right? _I love you_. It's like our life was dependent on it.

I love you as much as you love me Hibari-san. I believe in that.

Are you mad at me for hiding this matter from you?

That I have _cancer_?

Please understand this Hibari-san. I love you and I hate to see how you look like now. I hate myself for making you felt like this. Instead, I was happy that I was able to spend my last moments with you like normal. Please don't hate me. I'm sorry.

"I love you, Hibari-san." I manage the words without stuttering.

"I remember this kind of sunset…"I turn to stare at the sunset. So beautiful, yet so sad. It's ending. Everything will fall apart. You replied weakly. Why? I don't want to see you so weak like this Hibari-san.

"Happy birthday Hibari-san"

I lean to kiss you but my body refuse to. So you lean to me instead to receive your birthday present. My last kiss for you my love. My dearest Hibari Kyoya.

I feel it. I coughed and you tried to get the nurses but I refuse to let you go. I said its okay, it's only the dust. I can see you frown at my lie. I know. I'm a bad liar.

Then, it came. That horrible pain. I coughed terribly. You can't stand it anymore and you press the button to call the nurses.

They take me away. Away from you. No! I don't want this! I want to be with you Hibari-san! But I was too weak to protest. As my consciousness was fading due to the anaesthetic, I heard faint cries. Must be mom and everyone. Are you crying too Hibari-san? Slipping into darkness, I see it. Like a movie, my short life is playing in front of me. My failure, my happiness, my victory, my family, my life and my love. I stare at the playback and smiles.

I realized it. I had one thing that I haven't yet done with you upon seeing that picture. A picture of our first anniversary. Hibari-san, you were blushing! We were smiling while holding hands. I was so happy. Were you?

So, with the last spark of my dying will, I resolve on calling you Kyoya later.

* * *

My eyes are heavy and I felt so weak. Yet I feel so content. I gather my energy and call for you and I heard you came to me. I can't see you anymore Hibari-san. Why is it so dark? I heard you whisper my name and I heard how your voice croaked. You hold my hand like earlier. I can still feel it. Some faint warmth seeping through your hand.

"I never thought that… I will be able to date the infamous Hibari Kyoya… Never in my lifetime…" And I manage a small grin. "We'll celebrate your birthday properly tomorrow, okay? We'll go to your favorite hamburger shop and eat there. Right?"

Oh, what beautiful lies I'm telling you. You're crying while you put my hand on your forehead. I felt your tears on my hand. No, please don't cry. I want to see your stubborn, stoic and proud face that you always had.

Then, you lean to me and say the mantra like sentence. "I… love you…"

"Uhn, I know. I'm sleepy, Hibari-san. Can you come back tomorrow?"

You play along, saying you'll come tomorrow. How funny this play turns out to be.

As my time flies, I decided that it's time to call your name. So I called for you.

"Hibari-san…"

You lean to me to hear my last whisper.

But the spark dies.

The words didn't leave my mouth. I close my eyes with this regret.

_I never got to call you Kyoya after all. _

-Sawada Tsunayoshi-


End file.
